Back in the Saddle

A friend recently asked me if I “found it quite different living abroad.” I’m guessing he meant to imply ‘different living abroad from living in the U.S.’ It is a pretty straight-forward question and I think ultimately the one I am often thinking about for writing in this space.

With the hectic excitement of moving to the Netherlands from America I did a poor job of taking any time to reflect about my initial impressions of Dutch people and their country. Now that I’ve spent good couple weeks here and the raw, tumultuous part of the transition is past, I’m starting settle in with the surroundings. And have a few simple thoughts about life being different.

My initial response to my friend’s question was, “no, not particularly.” Maybe that’s a pretty subjective assessment. But other than the absence of a day-to-day job, my way of life is not fundamentally different. I check email, read blogs and online articles, buy groceries at a large chain store, go out to bars and restaurants with friends, etc. None of those feel very different. And, arguably, they are not. We’re not living in a small, remote Dutch village –‘s-Hertogenbosch is a comfortably modern and globalized city that just doesn’t happen to have good BBQ, stuffed pizza, or Seven for All Mankind jeans.

Most of the activities I listed don’t require much face-to-face social interaction, and there is a reason for that. Even with the help of Rosetta Stone, I still find people speaking native Dutch at me to be very intimidating. My vocabulary, pronunciation and confidence are all improving, but the amount I am able to apply them outside the house and my circle of friends is only slowly growing.

Interestingly, the Dutch are not particularly intimidating people. In the past weeks we have visited IKEA, car rental stations, restaurants, bars, and stores and we quickly run out of Dutch things to say, reverting to “Ik spreek kleine Nederlands,” or “In Engels, alstublieft?” Most of the time person we’re speaking with is able to pick right up with pretty decent English. And most of the time they appear happy to do so. It’s a very warm and welcoming experience, though at the same time a little embarrassing.

I think it would be one thing if we were simply tourists, just trying to get around for a few days or weeks on our way to the next country. But in taking residence here I want to feel like I belong, fit in, am not a major imposition on these people. I want to feel like I at least come close to meeting the club membership requirements.

I do feel like less of a tourist with the small (but expanding!) amount of Dutch I can speak with local Den Bosch’ers. For short and or routine exchanges – such as the grocery store checkout line – I know most of the appropriate questions and answers. Even in a longer conversation when the other person realizes I am “amerikanse” and speaks to me in English, I still try to use as much Dutch as I know, even if it’s just nummers or kleuren. So far, people respond to this practice positively: more open body language, approving facial expressions, smiles, laughs, words of encouragement. I can tell they appreciate the effort, just like I appreciate theirs. Awwwwww.